Cecilia never ceases to make me smile. Last night she woke up calling for me at sometime past midnight. I went in her room and she said, “Mama, Big Georgie (her most beloved of stuffed animals) need a dwink.” I said, “okay, do you need one, too?” “Yup”, she replied. I told her I would be right back and went and got her some water – when I got back she had rolled over on her side and was out cold. I leaned over her just to make sure she was asleep and up she sprang, making me jump…of course! She had a crazy smile and crazier hair and she just giggled and giggled at the trick she had played on me. I couldn’t stop giggling either, who plays games in the middle of the night? After she had her drink, she said, “otay, ni-ni Mama – sweet dreams”, she rolled over and I never heard another peep from her. What a crazy kid - she is so full of fun. I am so in love with the little girl we’ve been blessed with.
A few times last week, I was almost sure I felt the baby a few times. But last night, I knew I was feeling it! I lay in bed, hardly breathing, just waiting for that next little kick. I’ve loved this baby when it was only a thought and dream – but last night it was like I was connecting with it for the first time. I might as well have been holding it in my arms – it felt like a conversation or a perfect snuggle. And as usual – I cried. I cried for the joy of moving baby, I cried for the blessing of getting another child, then I cried for the Mama’s out there who may never get the chance to be a Mama in this way, then I cried for the babies whose Mama’s resent those kicks and wish them away, I cried for the Mama’s who don’t have their partner there desperately wanting to feel those kicks, too. Yea…I cried a lot. Then I turned on the TV and a show was on about children who lost a parent in the 911 tragedy. You guessed it, I cried some more (actually, I sobbed). Finally, I decided it was too depressing and all the crying was giving me a headache – so I turned off the TV and started eating, and eating, and eating. I ate a whole cucumber, a half a jar of pickled okra, and a mixing bowl full of salad. This was all after eating dinner a few hours before. I was so exhausted and could hardly keep my eyes open – but I was staying awake for the sole purpose of eating. I was a maniac. There was some particular taste I was looking for but I couldn’t put my finger on it and NOTHING would satisfy it! Yep, I think I have problem.Finally, still unsatisfied – I gave up and got in bed. I was just about to close my eyes and there it was again – that tiny, perfect kicking and moving. And guess what – that was all it took…with both hands on my belly, I drifted off to sleep completely satisfied and with a smile in my heart.
I’m going to try to be better about documenting this pregnancy. I did miss the 12 week pictures I was planning on taking of my baby bump, so the ones below are actually my 14 week baby bump. Still pretty good since I think the only picture I took of my baby bump with Cecilia was moments before I left to deliver her!
So far things have been good. The first trimester was definitely harder than what I experienced with Cecilia. I felt pretty awful most of the time and if I wasn’t throwing up, I was gagging over every little thing. Sometimes nothing would even trigger it, just be talking and all of a sudden there I would go. Cecilia found it pretty hilarious, and while I would be bent over the toilet I would hear her in the other room echoing my sounds. Nice. Throw up noises are now a part of her regular vocabulary. Because of the constant nausea, nothing really sounded good to me – so I had to force myself to eat anything at all. This was completely opposite of what Cecilia did to me – I couldn’t get enough to eat with her for the entire nine months. Happily, I have moved on to a new stage of my pregnancy and am feeling so much better. In fact, now I hardly feel like I’m pregnant at all!
“Pregnancy Brain” is without a doubt my strongest symptom right now. I could just skip this paragraph altogether but it really is too funny to not mention! While I have been known to do “air-headed” things even when I’m not pregnant, my “blondness” most definitely increases when I’m “with child”. Ryan’s favorite is when I have gone to fill up my car and pulled the car up to the wrong side of the gas pump. Now, this wouldn’t be so bad, except it took me three more tries before I finally got it right...and this has happened two separate times now! Another good one was when someone came up to me and started talking about a wedding we had both been to exactly two days before and I just stared at her blankly thinking “this is so embarrassing for her, she obviously thinks I’m someone else – I didn’t go to a wedding Saturday.” Yea, well after her continuing on for several more minutes and me staring blankly – it finally hit me, “oh yea!! I was at wedding Saturday and sat right behind her, too!” Talk about embarrassing! Another time, I was excitedly telling Ryan that we could find out what the sex of our baby was RIGHT NOW (this was at 12 weeks) because a girl I know just went and got a 4-D ultrasound done and found out and she isn’t due till the end of January!! Ryan said, “yea well, January is a month before February, Vanessa.” “I know, Ryan!! That’s what I mean she is due a whole month before us and she already knows!” Sadly, it took a few more seconds of this kind of conversation before it finally clicked that if she was due a month BEFORE me that would mean she was a month farther along than me! DUH!!!! These things should be so embarrassing – but the truth is, I think there are plenty of other women out there that have experienced the mind-shrinking that occurs during pregnancy. And then again…maybe it’s just me. Either way, even I can find humor at my own expense!
I had my first actual prenatal appointment this past Friday. The Dr. we had with Cecilia left shortly after she was born – and we have found it very hard to replace him. But I really liked the Dr. we met on Friday and am hoping we end up being as pleased with him as we were with our old Dr. Everything was good at the appointment, measuring fine and heard a steady heartbeat of 145.
We are all very excited to find out whether Cecilia will have a little sister or a little brother. Cecilia seems convinced that it is a boy for some reason. She always calls it “the baby boy” and if I try to tell her it could be a girl – she emphatically states, “No, BOY!” Hopefully she isn’t disappointed if she’s wrong! Ryan and I don’t care at all what we have – we have loved having a little girl and would be very excited to have another one, but it would be fun to have one of each, too! Mostly, we are grateful to be blessed with another baby and are just praying for another healthy, sweet baby – no matter what "kind" we are given!
1.I want to be strong, but show them it’s okay to be sad or hurt or broken hearted and that it’s always okay to cry.
2.I want to be encouraging and show them I see their beauty and worth, even when they can’t see it for themselves.
3.I want to be joyous and give them a heart for celebrations and an eye for picking out tiny moments that are actually so huge.
4.I want to have loving arms that are never too busy for a warm embrace or to pick them up when they have forgotten who they are and the love that surrounds them.
5.I want them to teach me to see the world through their eyes and never forget my vision isn’t always the clearest.
6.I want to love and respect their daddy and make sure they grow up seeing us have fun together and know that marriage is an amazing gift to be treasured.
7.I want to give of myself when I’m too tired to give anymore – so that one day they will do that for their babies.
8.I want show them how to have a heart for others and to never think they are better than someone else.
9.I want to respect them while they are children…and when they become adults.
10.I want to hold them so tight…but gracefully let them go when it's time.
Anticipation is building at our house…today marks the end of my first trimester! Cecilia is going to be a big sister! February 27th is the expected date of arrival for our new baby!! We feel so blessed and thankful to get to experience this joy all over again. I don’t take the privilege of parenthood lightly and can think of nothing better than holding another sweet baby in my arms.
We are so excited and even Cecilia seems to understand what’s going on to a certain extent. She often pulls up my shirt and says, “I wanna see that baby!” or “that baby sleeping?” She kisses my belly and calls my belly button the baby’s nose. Watching her try to make sense of the baby in my belly has made the past few months even more fun for us.
So along with this announcement, I feel like I should offer an apology, as the amount of mushy, mom-braggy posts will most undoubtedly be doubled!
Watching your child grow and seeing yourself in her has to be one of the most beautiful and terrifying things a person can experience. As Cecilia takes on toddlerhood full force, her individuality is getting bolder and her will, of course, is getting stronger. I relish in watching her person form and seeing her brain making those connections as to what works in this world that is still so new to her. Patterns and schedules that she’s always followed – are out the window, gone are the days of easily distracting her from things…this girl knows what she wants (don’t get me wrong - I think this is a blessing and I hope she grows continues to grow into as strong of a woman as the little, girl I see now). But she also wants so much to be like the people she loves. She mimics almost everything she sees and repeats everything as if she is just filing it away for later use.
Cecilia has turned into quite the little mommy. She takes care of her babies and stuffed animals all the time. She is constantly busy rocking, feeding, tucking them in, potty training them, dressing them and she is ALWAYS changing those diapers! I saw her put a diaper on a doll last night perfectly – I don’t think I could have done it any better. She tells everyone to be quiet when her babies are sleeping and when they cry (which is quite often) she bounces them and says “sh-sh-sh-sh” and pats them on the bottom. The other night a bear of hers was being particularly naughty and kept being put in time out…she would tell it very sternly, “you sit there, time out” – and as soon as she would turn around that ornery bear would get up and she would turn around and, “No bear! Sit. You don’t get up!” and place him firmly on the seat. After a few times of this, she grew frustrated and as she walked away from him again she put her hands on her face and shook her head and sighed, “oh my dosh (gosh).” Whoops…I had no idea I had ever done that before- sometimes looking in a mirror is a little embarrassing! I will never get tired of watching her play mommy.
Her dance class is interesting. She talks about her teacher, “Maggie”, all the time – but when she gets to class she doesn’t listen to Maggie very well. She usually participates in at least half of the class pretty well, but the other half she will just stare at the teacher or simply tell her, ”no, I not doing that”. She is much more interested in showing off her painted toenails or her tutu, etc. It completely cracks me up…because I can tell she is a million miles away from that class room half the time and when I see that daydreaming look…I know she is her mother’s daughter, for sure! She has really struggled to go into the class by herself – she wants me to come with her and on occasion will want to stop dancing and sit on my lap. I really haven’t pushed her or made a big deal of it, because I don’t want to stress her out. But, I told Ryan that I thought she might do better if I wasn’t there, if he just took her by himself. So, the next week I stayed home (which killed me) and sure enough…she only hesitated for a moment and then went right in and danced the whole class. Yes, I realize this is proof that I baby her and that she knows it…I really had no idea what a softy being a Mom would turn me into.
She loves her cousins and friends…LOTS! She is a very social creature and talks about the people she loves all the time. If we tell her she is going to play with someone tomorrow – she doesn’t forget it! A few weeks ago we had eaten dinner at the Kaneko’s house, on the way home she sobbed and sobbed, saying, “I want Tai (Kai), Ceci want Tai.” It melts my heart to see how much she loves people and it especially melts my heart that we have so many people in our lives who love her so much! It is a very humbling thing to see other people love your child. I hope Cecilia grows up knowing how blessed she is to have so much love.
It has been way too long since I’ve posted anything on here! We have had a very fun and full summer, but this recent heat wave has me ready for the next season! I am looking forward to fall decorations, warm drinks and baked goods, sweaters, wrapping up in blankets to enjoy a brisk, fall evening, picking out Cecilia’s Halloween costume and going to Jester’s corn maze and pumpkin patch! I can’t even lie…Christmas list making is already in full swing! I feel like being a parent has made everything in life into an event again! In childhood, I remember life that way…anticipating seasons and holidays and birthdays to the point of sometimes losing sleep over the excitement. Cecilia has awakened that part of me again – wanting each memory to be so perfect for her and being overwhelmed with excitement for them to all play out. Even as I plan and prepare, I know she could probably care less – but I can’t help myself. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how to create memories for Cecilia, and it really got me thinking - the truth is, the childhood memories I hold the most dear – were never the BIG events. They were the quiet, honest moments when I felt love the strongest – to this day, I can go back to those memories at any time and feel them all over again.
I remember when I was sick one time and everyone went to church except for me and Mom, she read “The Aristocat’s “ to me and held me all day long. She did nothing but sit with me, bring me soup, drinks, etc. When you’re the youngest of five children, the times you get your Mom all to yourself are very rare and all the more special. To this day, I always want my Mom when I’m sick – Ryan is a great nurse, but no one does it quite like your Mom.
I remember being cradled in my Dad’s lap in his chair, while he would reassure me of things I feared (there were a lot of things I feared back then). The sound of my Dad’s voice, the squeaking of that chair, and the smell of grease from his work shirt will always be pure comfort to me. Those memories can always make me breath out and feel like everything is going to be alright.
I remember swinging with my big sister, Bobbi, while I held my doll and she held her Care Bear (Melissa) and Bobbi sang to the Oakwood Boys on her walkman. I thought I was luckiest girl in the world that my big sister had her own apartment, but would still play dolls with me on the weekend.
I remember the time my sister, Heather, who was way to cool to play with me, had a random moment of interest in me, and took a break from her Algebra to play Dr. with me. Later in life, after she graduated college and was out of her “high school aged snobbery”, I have many wonderful memories with her – but as far as childhood – the Dr. incident always sticks out the most.
I remember the times when I would wake up from a nightmare in the middle of the night and my sister, Jessica, was always the first one to reach my bed and let me sleep with her for the rest of the night. That’s just one of the many memories I have of Jessica being my protector.
I remember the times when most big sisters would be embarrassed by their little sisters and want them to leave them alone – that my sister, Nicolet, would always want me to be there. She would always want me to hang out with her and her friends. Looking back, I think I was probably pretty annoying, but she always laughed at my jokes and never made me feel like her little sister – I was just her friend.
Thinking back to those memories that made the biggest impression on me – is a great reminder to me of how to create those memories for Cecilia. So tonight, I curled up in bed next to her and we snuggled so close I could hardly breathe. In the darkness, I whispered to her how very much I love her, and she whispered back, “Sweet dreams” and squeezed me so tight.
I know I’ll continue overdoing Holidays and other celebrations, just because it’s who I am and I love it…but I hope when she grows up she’ll have those perfect memories like I do and be able to tuck them in her pocket and always know that, as a parent, the thing her Mama did best - was love her endlessly.
Not surprisingly, I am behind in my blogging. I have some writing to finish up and eventually post about Cecilia’s birthday – but that requires downloading pictures, etc. But today I just have some quick thoughts to jot down.
I have been busy with school lately and that trend won’t stop for another year – while it is certainly not my favorite thing to be doing, it has had its benefits. Through my school, I have been able to see my husband’s support for me and our family. When I have work to do, he keeps Cecilia busy and I often won’t hear a peep out of them for hours while I study. Sometimes he keeps her so well occupied that I get lonely sitting all by myself hearing the squeals and giggles coming from the other side of the house and I have to take a break just to be a part of it. He often makes dinner, does laundry, or any other little thing that needs done. I am blessed to have married a man that agrees that as we both work - household duties should be shared. While I believe this should be pretty obvious (and would expect nothing less from my husband) – it doesn’t mean that I don’t appreciate it and notice it.
So if he ever thought I wasn’t paying attention…here is a list of just a few of the things I appreciate:
·He always goes and warms up the car before we go somewhere
·He always pumps the gas, while I stay warm and dry (or cool and not sweaty)
·He always knows where my umbrella is – even though I have no idea
·He is always charging things like phones and cameras (and then there they are waiting for me)
·He doesn’t think I need makeup (haha – silly boy)
·When he has a project – he always does it right and it has to be perfect (this could also fall in the “annoys me” column)
·He is as in love with being a parent as I am – and he doesn’t complain when it puts a damper on our plans
·He seems to be capable of anything…he is my handyman hero!
·His loyalty astounds me – and has made me strive to have that same characteristic
No, I don’t think my husband is perfect – he has plenty of faults, as do I. I am not a perfect wife – I am a bad housekeeper, I can’t keep my car clean to save my life, I whine when I don’t feel good, and I make my husband crazy with my annoying, weird habits (he knows what I’m talking about) – but Ryan loves me and I have never questioned that. I hope he always has as much faith in my love as I do in his. I am more in love with my husband today, than ever before. With him, life has become more than I hoped for or dreamed of – he is my prince charming and I am so proud to be his girl.
Bed time is becoming my favorite part of the day. Cecilia is doing great in her big girl bed! She has always been a good sleeper and usually didn’t give us any problem with going to bed, but now she literally runs for her bed when we say its bedtime. In fact, sometimes she even volunteers now. She’ll be playing and suddenly say, “ni-ni toys” and start heading to bed. Sometimes she whines while she’s going, like she doesn’t want to – but even then she never fights it. She will crawl up in her bed and start busily getting her blankie and moo-moo and then she’ll say, “tuck, mama” or “tuck, dada”. When we tell her it’s time to say her prayers, she gets so excited and clasps her hands together. She hasn’t figured out how to close her eyes on command yet, so when I tell her to close her eyes she covers them with her hands…but she still keeps them clasped. She waits for me to say Amen, and then she bounces up a little and shouts, “AMEN!” She gives us big hugs and emphatic kisses and says, “Ni-ni, fish. Ni-ni Mama. Ni-ni Dada. Love ew.” And sometimes, if we are really lucky… as we close the door we hear the sweetest little voice in my world say, “sweep tight!” A few nights, she has laid in bed for awhile and then decided she needs something; we will hear a soft, little, “Mama? Dada?”, then five little fingers slide underneath the door crack. If we lie down on the floor and peek under – she giggles and smiles and says, “Hi!”
With endings like this…Mama, Dada, our big girl, and fish will all “sweep tight.”
Cecilia has been growing out of her 18 month clothes, so we decided to make a trip to the outlets Saturday. Cecilia is an awful shopper, she always has been and no matter what we try it just doesn’t get any better.
Mistake One: We weren’t sure whether or not we should brave another shopping trip with her, but we decided that she was just going to have to suck it up and start behaving when we shop. We were completely resolved that she was going to be good and that was that! You can all stop laughing now…I realize you know how this is going to end.
Mistake Two: The morning began with Cecilia having a very big appetite. While we were getting ready to go Cecilia ate breakfast, and lots of it. Not seeing any need to limit her (she’s a growing girl) I kept filling her bowl.
Mistake Three: I decided as I was packing her bag that I wasn’t going to bother with an extra outfit…we never use it, and we were going shopping so if there was a catastrophe we would just use one of her new outfits.
Well, we started off and about half way there we heard an awful sound and turned to see that she had thrown up her whole breakfast all over herself, her blankie, her moomoo, her carseat, etc. It was a very sad event at the time. She was so grossed out and upset. She never cried but she just looked so sad and kept saying, “Mama, mess! Hold you, Mama!” We pulled over and I managed to strip her down to her pull-up and wipe her off without puking myself, which was nothing short of a miracle. The cleanup was quite a process. By the time it was all done Cecilia was fine and she didn’t seem like she felt bad at all – we decided it must have just been a combination of a full tummy and car sickness. So, we made the decision (very hesitantly) to continue on to Osage Beach. Of course we he had no extra outfit to put her in, so we had to put her in her car seat with nothing but a pull-up on. I tried to use my coat to cover her up, which only made her realize that she didn’t have her blankie and she began weeping for her blankie and moomoo. It was a very long and sad trip, listening to her cry. Right before we got there she fell asleep, so Ryan ran inside a store and found an outfit (and a blankie) to put her in when she woke up. Things were starting to look better, she had a little nap, a fresh change of clothes and was smiling! So off we went to our first store.
I would guess that things went well for approximately five minutes and then the crazy, possessed child that only seems to come out when we’re shopping showed her ugly face!! Still determined, we struggled through while she sobbed, screamed, twisted, writhed, reached, and any other awful thing you’ve seen those horrible “Wal-mart kids” do. The moment we walked out of the store, she was all smiles and sunshine. So we gave it one more shot and after another embarrassing display, we threw in the towel. Yup, she won…no more resolved to force our child into submission…we started taking turns. One of us would stay in the truck with the horrible child who had taken over my sweet girl’s body, and the other one would go in and pick out their favorites, hide them in a corner and then run back out and switch, so the other one could make their selections. Ridiculous – I know. What could have been done in a quick two or three hour shopping trip ended up taking the whole day.
Driving home that night, Ryan and I were laughing about the days events. How crazy is life? I never imagined myself as the Mom with the screaming child – but you know what…I think she’s gonna turn out just fine. Truth is, I don’t want a perfect child…I want just the one I got – because no matter how exhausting she can be, she can’t stop making me smile! When we got home that night Cecilia started excitedly pulling her clothes out of the bags, exclaiming how “toot (cute)” they were and trying them on – I would love to know where that enthusiasm was when we were buying them!
Despite the trauma, we had a really good day – a little team effort and we pulled it off! That’s what family is really about anyway, loving life where it’s at and letting it teach us. The lesson for the day: Start online shopping!!
It has been quite a week for change here in the Shinn household. Lots of excitement and the promise of spring in the air to wrap it all up in a big, beautiful bow!
After a failed attempt at potty training back in November, we decided to let it go and just mention it to her from time to time, rather than frustrate her to the point of creating a negative feeling towards the whole process – we always try to keep the poop conversation fun around this house and we certainly didn’t want to ruin that! So, a few weeks ago when the big snow blizzard hit, we were happily trapped at home together for the week. I don’t really remember what spurred it, but Cecilia mentioned her potty and decided to go in it. So we jumped into full potty training mode, once again. We managed to find a package of M&Ms left over from Christmas and gathered up the random pull ups that were left from the first effort and hadn’t made it on baby doll bottoms yet. The entire blizzard we spent talking about poop and pee (which if you know us well, you know this isn’t really all that different from a normal day) and dispensing “prizes” when the deed was done. We had one really good day in there, but for the most part it was more accidents than not. When we finally shoveled our way out and Cecilia started going back to Memaw’s house and Nana’s, she seemed to really lose interest in it. She was just too busy to stop and go potty. So we kept at it, but didn’t make a big deal of it. This past Thursday Mom sent her home wearing panties and four days later she has only had a total of three or four accidents! It suddenly has just seemed to click for her and she can now tell me she needs to go and hold it if she needs to. She has even gone in a public restroom; while I was holding her about a foot above the toilet...I’m not sure I could have even done that! She is now a fulltime panty wearer, with the exception of night time. I am so proud of her, obviously this is what you expect to happen...but I still can’t believe it has! Her achievement has been more exciting to me than any achievement I have ever had personally...it is amazing how your child’s emotions and triumphs and failures somehow feel like your own. Tomorrow she will go to my Mom’s, so we’ll see if she can continue her good streak when she’s not at home...I hope, I hope, I hope!!
The next change is really just a continuation of the potty training story. Yesterday while Cecilia was in her crib for naptime she felt the urge – I am ashamed to say that she did try to call me and told me she needed to go potty and I ignored her thinking it was a ploy to get out of napping. It wasn’t. When her call became a whimper and then a cry, I went in to find that she had stripped down and tossed her clothes over the edge and used a corner of her crib as a toilet and then used the sheet as her toilet paper. There she sat, completely humiliated and upset that she was sitting in the middle of quite a mess with poop on her feet and a few other places. I felt so bad, I had never thought about how confusing it might be to tell her not to potty in her panties and then slap a pull up or diaper on her for naptime. So, we decided we would bring in her toddler bed and give it a shot. We haven’t taken her crib apart yet...just in case this doesn’t work out. I had to lay down with her last night, but once she was asleep she slept the night through. Today, she laid right down for her nap and hasn’t got up from it once. It is amazing to me that I am the mother of a child in a toddler bed. I realized that we have never taken pictures of her nursery. So I am going to document her sweet, little nursery today...before we disassemble the crib and pack away her changing pad and it becomes a toddler room. I’ve decided to celebrate all her success over the past few days by ordering her some over priced Curious George panties I saw online...I could think of nothing that would make her happier!
The other excitement for our family is a recent change in my job. I am still with the Corps, but have transferred to the Power House side. What this means, is that Ryan and I are now working in the same building and can even ride to work together. I am now able to work four ten hour days a week and take Mondays off. So, after almost two years of my whining about how Ryan gets to stay home every Friday with Cecilia...I get my day, too! I can’t tell you how exciting this is to me. Cecilia is now only away from home three days a week and Ryan and I being able to drop her off and pick her up together has been so fun! It is such a nice start to the day (although Ryan is concerned that I’m talking a little too much for that early in the morning) and such a fun start to our evening. Once again, I feel overwhelmed with gratefulness at how blessed my little family has been over the years. Sometimes I can’t wrap my head around the blessings I’ve been given and the love and happiness that fills my life. I don’t know why I have been blessed this way, but I do know that I live every day reminding myself to never take these things for granted...these blessings are exactly why I feel I am able to enjoy such a blissful and easeful life.
I know I may seem a little over the top to some people – these are just small, daily parts of life that I’m getting so excited about. But truly, this is how I want to live - taking each moment and holding it in the palm of my hand, realizing how sacred and momentous they all really are...if we choose to let them be. Bad things happen to me, too – but I try to throw those out with everything else not worth holding on to. So now I’m dreaming of more amazing events to come...the planting of our garden, the sound of a lawn mower on a sunny day, Cecilia zooming around endlessly on her four-wheeler (outside where I don’t have to help her turn around every ten seconds), bike riding, Ryan saddling up Ozzie for Cecilia, blowing up her pool, cookouts with friends and family, and noticing what new bushes have blossomed as we drive down the lane.
Cecilia in her box house we made during the blizzard
Found Cecilia in her underwear tucking her babies in to bed
She came up with this outfit all on her own and wore it ALL day
I will eventually put up a post of all our 2010 Christmas adventures…but today I just want to talk about my sweet, baby girl. Daily, I am watching her move from that baby stage to a full fledged toddler. It is the most bittersweet thing I’ve ever experienced. It seems that everyday is more fun than the last, and yet there are moments when I miss her “itty-bittyness” and wish time would just stop moving so fast!
At almost 21 months, Cecilia is talking up a storm, she has just really started putting sentences together in the past two weeks. The first one I heard her say was the day after Christmas, when I had the stomach flu. Cecilia had been very good to play with Daddy and let me rest, but later in the day she was starting to get frustrated that I wouldn’t get out of bed. She got excited when I jumped up and ran to the bathroom, but then really upset when I closed the door behind me. She started knocking on the door and saying, “Mama! Mama? Knock, knock! Mama?” This went on for awhile before she started getting louder and started throwing herself against the door – finally her irritation came to a crescendo, and she yelled out very clearly, “Watcha doin in there, Mama?!” Without a doubt that is the first time I’ve ever laughed while my head was over a toilet bowl!
One morning last week she was very upset when I went to work , I left her sobbing and reaching for me and it was, of course, very heartbreaking. But Mom said it didn’t last long and she was distracted by other things. A little while later she saw Mom look out the window and she said, “Mama said bye-bye Ceci”. She has also been asking about people when they aren’t there, like she is starting to realize that there is a world beyond exactly where she is at that time and place. Ryan went to get her out of bed one Friday morning after I had left for work and she said, “Hi Dada! Mama sleeping?”
She also talks a lot about her friends and her cousins. She will list off all of their names when we are in the car over and over and I often hear her in her playroom making phone calls to them, “Hewwo (Hello) Parper (Parker)” and so on until she names them all. She was even making phone calls to Parker’s dad, Jason, the other day!
She has continued her love of Curious George and now has two stuffed “Georgies” that she keeps a pretty close tab on. She loves to watch George and when we let her, she gets so excited she can hardly contain herself. She has been walking around the house lately holding George’s hand and saying, “ornery George, ornery George” and then kissing him emphatically, “MMMUUUAAAH”! Ryan and I have realized that we’ve been picking up her mannerisms…and have to laugh when we go to give a kiss and automatically say “MMUUAAH!”
She has also started replacing “Mama” with “Mom”. It’s a little sad to think she is already outgrowing the “Mama” stage. I thought I would be “Mama” for years and then it would graduate to “Mommy”, but she has skipped “Mommy” all together! I have to admit, it is just as sweet as “Mama”. She usually calls me “Mama” when she is trying to get out of trouble or when she’s loving on me…but during the normal course of the day, she has a sassy, new, little voice she uses for, “Mom, Mom, hey Mom!” I try to get her to say it over and over, because it sounds so hilarious to me!
She is very, very social and loves to talk to people – she knows no strangers.As soon as we walk into Wal-Mart she starts greeting people and if they ignore her, she just gets louder and more persistent! I love watching her make people smile and feel so honored that I get to be the one pushing around this amazing, little bundle of energy and joy! At one such visit to Wal-Mart, an old man with a long, white beard saw her talking to someone so he came up and said hi to her. She turned and her mouth just dropped open. Finally, she started saying, “Ho ho ho, Ho ho ho!” I finally realized why she was staring at him in disbelief, she thought he was Santa! When I told the man, he smiled and quickly said in a loud, deep voice, “well, I am Santa Claus!” and broke into character. Such a sweet moment, we couldn’t stop laughing when we left.
Over the weekend she managed to scribble with a blue ink pen all over our computer monitor, climb on top of the table and empty the salt shaker out on it, figured out how to open the door to the basement stairs and took a tumble down them, decided a good way to let me know she was done eating was to throw her fork to one side and her bowl of food to the other…and then say, “Oh No! Mess!”, started saying, “oh, dross (gross)!” whenever I change her diaper and various other toddler style antics. I am finding more and more that I really need Ryan to be good at being stern and using a good “dad voice”, because I can’t seem to keep a straight face…ever! No matter how rotten she’s being, it all strikes me as hilarious and adorable and it is all I can do to get on to her. I’m pretty sure she knows who she’s got wrapped around her finger and I’m pretty sure it’s not a good thing…but, I keep reassuring myself with my Grandma Yoder’s words, “oh, you can’t spoil a good baby!” (although, I’m pretty sure that’s not what she meant at all). Cecilia knows she’s cute and when she gets caught she automatically wrinkles her nose and smiles this really ridiculous smile and says, “sowwy, Mama” or in the case of the computer screen it was, “sowwy ‘bout the puter, daddy”.
There is no doubt we will have our hands full with this one, but I’m okay with that – I love every bit of her - the good, the bad, and the ugly!She is, undoubtedly, more fabulous than I ever could have imagined. I hope I can always remember these moments and never forget the joy she is filling me and Ryan’s world with.
These precious days of baby powder and lullabyes are quickly passing by, so I will cherish the little glimpses she still gives me every now and then. Saturday night, riding home in the dark, her tired, little hand reached out to mine and she said, "hold you, mama. Sing me." She held my hands tightly and I sang her our favorite song. Her eyelids closed and I felt her relax...but she never let go of my hands.
I love life and I love fun. I try to make everything in life an event and I get very excited over the smallest things! I love to decorate and if I could stay awake I would do much more reading. I have a small, but wonderful group of friends, come from a big family and married into another big family. Most importantly, I have a fantastic husband and a beautiful daughter. My life is full and I am infinitely and sincerely happy.
